I am scared !!!

I am scared of the future.

I have so many questions.

Can I do this by myself?

What if my child has to grow up without a dad?

Oh and by the way my parents do not know about this yet. They live far away and I was not sure how they are gonna react so I have not told them. I don't know how they would feel that I have a child with someone else's eggs.

So I decided I am going to tell them when I am pregnant. And then slowly ease into the details.

I guess I was afraid that they thought what I am doing is wrong, that I should not spend this kinda money and just accept the fact that I cannot have kids......I think I just don't want anybody talking me out of it. I told three people. One a potential donor....which did not want to be one and he is not very supportive at all. One a female friend that I can talk to about this.

One a guy that seemed to be interested in me and had an ear for my plans but then turned out to be about to be divorced and having a girl friend while chasing me....and once I kinda started liking him I found out he is seeing someone else.......it was very hart to not let that get to me because somewhere deep down I was hoping to have some male support while I was pregnant someone to hug me and hold me....

But then reality kicked it and now it is back to me!
Hey what ever doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger, right?
Well lets hope so.

So here I go back to smiling and keep on going!