updates

• doing Lupron shots
• first time ever in my life had a credit card decline
• over 20.000 in debt now
• gained 7 lbs in 2 weeks
• haven't been swimming in over a week
• trying to eat healthy

Well those where the highlights and thoughts of the past few weeks.

One major thing that I have to figure out until Friday is a new sperm donor. the last one is retired and the two back up ones not available. So by Friday I have to pick 3 new ones. Yet just another dagger thrown in my way. I am trying to be more confident and more upbeat. But I am broke, tired and depressed and trying not to be. Yesterday I was driving to a relaxing BBQ with my friends and I was crying because my car is overheating...I have just had enough...I am tired I am done.....I can only take soo much.

I am already feeling guilty that I have been working some overtime and I am afraid it will not be good for me....I am psychically tired and mentally tired...I am just tired...

So today I am gonna try to find new sperm donors....yeah

this is all so stressingly tired depressingly weird

so chin up...and keep going