So I just got a phone call from the clinic...donor has egg retrieval on Monday.
And then they will call me to see how many eggs the donor has and then of course i have to split those with the other egg donor recipient that I am sharing this donor with.
So it can actually happen that one of us ends up w/o eggs. If she does not have enough.
I just wanna lay down and cry........I am sooooo overwhelmed.
Today my stomach hurts because I have been thinking too much.
My closest friends and family do not know....and I feel bad....but I am soo afraid of rejection....
My car has been in the shop again since wednesday and they don't even have the decency to tell me what is wrong with it.
In my closest group of friends that don't know there is a guy that has been kinda flirting with me and seems to like me.........and that upsets me cause come on it is not gonna go anywhere ....
gosh i need a drink..........
and that is another thing my friends have been giving me a hard time about...the fact that I do not drink any alcohol anymore....
everyone kinda picks on me and makes fun or gives me a hard time....and the sad part and the part that upsets me is that nobody even said ..why u not drinkin u pregnant?
nope apparently they just see me as a kidless party girl........sad sad
today is just not a happy day....
I am sooooooo scared what is gonna become of my life.
it seems like everytime a guy shows some kinda interest in me I start dreaming...dreaming of having a normal life. With a man...hopefully my kid or kids and a nice appartment or house....yeah dare I say it a family...
I feel soo stupid even writing that...
I love my friends but I think I was better of when I just stayed home alone
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