So I am slowly crumbling and falling slowly apart. I am soo scared about tomorrow. I have not been able to concentrate on hardly anything today not even things I like. All I have been doing is eating...not sure if that is the all the hormones I am taking or if that is from stress. I seem to act like I am not stressing but I am.
Today or actually most of the weekend I have just been sitting on the couch...doing nothing and snacking of an on. Unfortunately I have lost my taste for healthy foods the past two weeks...I think I gained at least 7 lbs.
Not a big deal. ....but stressful as well....
Sad that I can look pregnant...but not get pregnant....sigh
This afternoon I have started to crumble...all of a sudden I just teared up..
I wanted to just let go and cry but I always think that is such a weakness.
Guess I will save that for tomorrow. Cause I will be balling my eyes out regardless what happens.
I have been trying to be prepared for bad news but I think I may have been fooling myself...
I can all of a sudden feel the anxiety creeping up...my chest hurts and I am swallowing the tears. No I am not ready!
I know I will be able to hear it in my nurse's voice. I can almost always tell if it is good news or bad news. Sigh!
I am not sure what I am going to do in case of bad news. Usually the calmer I am the worse I break down.
I am afraid to even think I could get good news. I am soo stupid to think of the worst case scenario makes me prepared.
No it does not.
So here I am the eve before my big day.
Pregnant or not is the big question.
1 comment:
my thoughts with you sweetie... wish i can hop on a plane and hold your hands through it... but *cyberhugs*
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