....but I am too miserable to feel happy.
Most of my so called friends have all but abandonded me because I can never go anywhere....my mom thinks I am stupid for having a child and now being broke.
and i thought if all fails I could move in with her but i did not exactly get an invite....she is not at all excited about me being pregnant....I left that phone call in tears.......
My plan was to go home if i cannot make it alone here...wow now i am gonna be a broke homeless mom...yeah
things that I try not to worry about because I have not worked out the details people bug me about....good god I just wanted a baby before it is too late...is that so freaking hard to understand...I don't need a plan.....
i had a plan 16 years ago...I got married...moved to a foreign country, gave up an awesome job and planned on being a wife and mom...two years later i was divorced and stuck in a foreign country.
So no ...f-word no....I do not have a plan....
why can't I have a f-wording mom that gives a shit?
god i just wanna break down and cry
i feel so alone like nobody understands why i did this and why this means so much to me...and why i am in debt and did not care how this is all gonna work out....
is it so hard to understand? am I crazy?
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