Okay the . So during this whole infertility thing I always find myself waiting for my period to go to the next step...that is just wrong on soooo many levels.
Now I am waiting so they can schedule my hysteroscopy. So I have no clue when that is gonna happen. Well I kinda do. It will be in the next few weeks. I am very nervous.
And yesterday the guy I have been hanging out with this week asked me how I was doing health wise because he knows I had a cyst and an ovary removed 11 years ago. And I could not even tell him: Oh by the way ...the woman you seem to like right now is still messed up, even more so now.
All my life I was waiting for Prince Charming or just a guy that loves me and would tell me he would love to have a child with me....somehow I never got so lucky. I am not saying that this guy now would all off a sudden tell me that now.
BUT I think life would be very cruel if all of a sudden someone would do it now that I am older and only partial woman anymore. I don't know maybe I am just scared that someone will like me, really like me for who I am even with all my issues. I guess I am just so used to having bad relationships and always getting dumped or rejected. All I know is this guy hung out with me two days this week and is talking all sorts of stuff we will do in the future and it scares me.
Gosh I need a shrink....oh wait that one dumped me too....lol
Well I am gonna try to remain calm and see where live takes me.
Hey what have I got to loose? At this point really nothing.
So life bring it on!!! I am almost ready!! ROOAAARRR!!!
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