I am struggling....again.......big time
I still love my acupuncture treatments....
but I feel miserable .....I cry all the time ....and I feel like I am going to have a panic attack.
I am taking all these herbal supplements to make me feel better but it is not working anymore
I feel like I am falling into a deep depression.
Is it because of the holidays?
Probably plus I am turning.......oh god I hate to even write it....I am turning the number after 39. I think besides the fact they I am infertile, single, in debt, in a dead-end job, overweight and obviously unhappy right now I am also going to have a midlife crisis over the holidays.
Oh great now I am gonna cry again.
This sucks soooo bad.
I just wanna be normal...with a family and kids....and not a fucked up body.
I am not even sure what is worse spending x-mas alone or with my family that does not know about my adventures in infertility.
gosh I would give so much just to feel OKAY and happy like I did a month ago...and if it is just for a week....
1 comment:
Holidays are the worse and considering how much you are carrying on your plate it's no wonder you are feeling so bad.
If I think about the current issues (overweight too...infertility...debt...not 40 but damn close to it!LOL) I get panicky too so hang in there.
I don't know if it helps but I tend to do lists and goal plans when I'm feeling miserable even if I know that it can't change the current stuff it makes me feel better to plan for a better future. I came up w/ a 2 and 5 year plan if my IVF(coming up in January hopefully) fails (going back to school, jogging, volunteering, etc.,). I may or may not do it but looking at it gives me hope that all this madness will eventually end one way or the other.
Happy B-day (even if you are dreading it!LOL) and know that you are not alone.
Angela C.
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