So I had my appointment today for a Saline sonogram (yikes! not fun) and a blood test before we can start with a new donor. Needless to say I hardly slept last night. I had a feeling that something was wrong. It seems like in the last 8-10 years every time I have any form of sonogram there is something wrong with me. Well and unfortunately I was right. I have a polyp and it needs to come out.
So I got an overload of info in about an hour and could hardly hold my self together. So I have a polyp ( hell I am gonna have to look that up first to know what the hell it exactly is) and they need to take it out via (heck I am gonna have to find the paper they gave me to think of the name) HYSTEROSCOPY.
Heck I don't even wanna read all the info on it...I have a few more weeks till they do that. So I was already nauseous from the procedure and the not so good news.
Then I go to check-out and have to sign all the paper work for my new donor and surprise there is also a new balance of $ 2.1oo. Needless to say I was unaware and very unprepared for that. So all I could do is hold my tears back and hand over my visa card and demand an itemized printout which made absolutely no sense to me. They called me later and explained but I am still confused and I am terrified of how much money I owe again. I am still not sure how I made it thru work. So tomorrow I am gonna have to call my insurance company and see how much more this surgery is gonna set me back.
And Friday I will be pounding the pavement and the Internet for a second job.
So the only good news in all this is....the donor does not mind waiting till this is all done....which will take at least 6-8 weeks. ( hey what is 6-8 weeks when you have been at this for almost 3 years and according to my new fat bill already lost 4 donors). And the other recipient has the same problem as I do and has to have surgery as well. Hmmmm!!! Not sure that makes me feel better. Well maybe in a way it is good to know that it is not me alone that is seriously messed up.
This year was gonna be the first time in over 10 years that I was gonna spend my tax return on something other than bills and debt. But I guess now I cannot really do that.
So I have been waiting all day for the tears to come streaming down as soon as I am not around people anymore. But no nervous breakdown yet.
How can I always be so close and then loose again?
I am not ready to give up!!!!!
I will manage somehow as I always do.
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