Well my female stuff is more messed up then ever...2 periods within 2 weeks...althought this one is more my normal date.
I don't hold out much hope anymore for ever having my own child.
All I see right now is me soending thousands and thousands of money every month
and I got nothing to show for.
Heck I could have had a complete body makeover for all the money I have spent.
Or taken a trip around the whole damn world...not that I would have enjoyed it.
Heck I don't enjoy anything anymore. I have been in this rut that I cannot get out. I never have any energy for anything....Cleaning or shopping or anything.
The only thing I do is go to work so I can pay of my debt. And half the time I do not even know how I dragged myself to work. Guess I only go there because it pays my outragous bills...
Other than that I do not even wanna leave the house. I feel fat, ugly and like a broken woman...not a real woman and I feel like everyone looks at me like that poor childless woman that is to stupid to have children.
I am just so tired of defining my whole life by this one thing that is wrong with me that affects everything and has for about two years.
I am just not me anymore.........and I HATE IT
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