mood: very strange
Sometimes I wonder if god (and I am not even sure anymore that I believe in god because of all of this) has a reason for doing all this to me.
Am I a bad person? Will I be a bad mother?
Then I hate myself immediately for saying it or writing it out.
I am sometimes so afraid that something I did caused all this. What did I do wrong?
mood: cry baby
time to get back to happy mode....I can do this ...yes I can...
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