tired

I am soooo tired....sono tomorrow...always scared....sono's terrify me...so many times bad news...

thank goodness I am tired and gonna sleep like dead...

another week closer

so next week I have a sono before starting meds...and i get to pay another $ 13.000 Dollars...anxious about both...

but excited and ready to go....trying to eat healthy which is hard when I am on birth control cuase that shit makes me eat like a horse and crave shitty foods.

Nevertheless I am trying....i eat healthy but way too much...sigh
but I can handle one more week of it..

Little worried about being in debt that far but I will get over it.

oh I can do it....yes I am excited....just tired

excited and depressed

So I am really excited...my meds are ordered and I have another sono next week before starting meds. I am not drinking alcohol, I am eating healthy and I exercise every day.

I have just been working a lot to make some extra money. I have to ask my nurse if that is bad.

And my friends are all making plans for trips in September and November they wanna include me in....what if i am pregnant by then an cannot go...i feel soooo bad for excluding everyone....

but oh well....we shall see how they will react when they find out.

Starting over....round 2

So I never had a period but they said it does not matter. I was fixing to have one because i felt like crap. But they put me on birth control instead. And it is already giving me headaches.
So I got a brand new plan....end of august new transfer.

I stopped drinking alcohol, any caffeine....and I am trying to eat lots of fruits and veggies or more than usual at least. I am going swimming every day and I try to have no stress.....

I am scared and excited....

deap breath....I can do this

still waiting

for my period...never thought at one point in my life I would be waiting for this shit.

I am scared....what if I won't have one.....this is soooo crazy.

I am very depressed and discouraged

PMSing

and being very negative...whiny...cry-ish and impossible.

• wondering if there is an end to this
• wondering if anyone ever died of hotflashes or if I will be the first
• wondering if I will ever find happiness
• wondering how much longer I can handle this
• wondering how much more I can take

going to sleep and hoping for a better day tomorrow....and a better mood

starting over

so I have been too lazy, too tired and too hot and frustrated to update.
The bump on my hip is finally getting better and stopped itching and hurting like crap. I also finally got word from the clinic....the new donor passed and we are starting over....waiting for period again...yeah

I am not really excited I am scared to fail again and be over $ 20.000 in debt.

yes in a way I am excited but I try not to get giddy.
So we shall see I am anxious for sure.